RIP Philo

Former colleague commits suicide

Worked with this guy a few years ago and found out he died recently. He tried -- unsuccessfully -- to be suicided by cop at the airport. It was in the news at the time, but I didn't know it was him. A few weeks later he died, likely suicide.

That's the second person on my old team team to take his own life. I remember he broke the news to me that the other guy died.

Is this a common thing in IT?

Sheesh, sometimes we have no idea what's going on in other people's minds.
Permalink NPR 
December 5th, 2017 6:02pm
I don't personally know anyone working in IT who has done it.

Here on the board there was Chris and Dennis who attempted, one successfully. And both them were in IT.

When I was in school there were at least three CS students that killed themselves. Program was stressful. Rigorous, top school. Lots of all nighters. Some difficult to please professors. No social life. A lot of people taking uppers.

Outside IT I know a few who have done it. A couple with terminal illness. One had been screwed over by some people and he killed them and then himself.
Permalink Reality Check 
December 5th, 2017 6:13pm
I have two friends who worked in IT who died of heroin overdoses.  Is that suicide?
Permalink Wabi-sabi 
December 5th, 2017 6:21pm
Probably not.
Permalink NPR 
December 5th, 2017 6:44pm
Depends. They can be caused by similar mental pathologies. Alternatively, overdose is sometimes just an accident. There are a few that are directly suicide via heroin, but that’s pretty unusual.
Permalink Q 
December 5th, 2017 6:59pm
Some of us speculated he was a closeted gay. Mid-life, no family, no girlfriend (as far as we knew), loner. So, not much to live for? Plus the corporate culture might drive some to kill themselves. Yes, it's that bad.
Permalink NPR 
December 5th, 2017 7:45pm
No partner, I mean. In other words, completely alone.
Permalink NPR 
December 5th, 2017 8:07pm
>> One had been screwed over by some people and he killed them and then himself.

That one did not happen (yet), but I know someone who keeps a list for such an occasion ;)
Permalink Io 
December 5th, 2017 11:22pm
Permalink Wabi-sabi 
December 5th, 2017 11:51pm
No, he's the kind who punches you in the nose on the spot.
Permalink Io 
December 6th, 2017 12:19am
Aw, who doesn't keep such a grudge list? At least in their mind if not written down.

Probably the strongest was this guy who slept with my ex wife decades ago. Eventually I dropped the hate though realizing it takes two to tango. Also I found out later through mutual friends that he is absolutely miserable and she became fat and ugly, after cheating on him as well. So now I chuckle rather than hate. Schadenfreude feels good man!

Best advice I have for grudge holders is to hate intensely each day, while checking in from time to time on their career and relationships. The assholes usually get what's coming to them and you don't have to do a thing. Then you can smugly revel in their misfortune and think about it instead of how much you hate them.

There's another guy though who stole a bunch of my inventions and code some years ago and went out and fraudulently got patents and then lined up investors and made a lot of money while locking me out of working on my own project. I recently saw that guy being interviewed in a tech oral history project where they interviewed pioneers. He sat there and boldly lied about how he invented the industry changing stuff he knows he stole from me. Somehow my hate for this guy hasn't resulted in his life getting worse. I'm still sore about it. Hopefully his luck will go south sometime soon. I suppose he's on my grudge list at the top, though I don't plan to do anything about it.

There's also this borderline girl I dated many years ago who falsely accused me of raping her after I broke up with her and wouldn't return her texts. After she gave her detailed testimony, I was lucky that I had a rock solid alibi, I was out of state at a tech conference where I gave a talk. I wish they prosecuted her. There are still people to this day that think I raped someone despite the charges being dismissed. So she's caused a lot of problems for me. That said the basic problem is she's fucked in the head. Those borderline people are nuts and will do just about anything.
Permalink Reality Check 
December 6th, 2017 7:31am

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