Give ne back my hat!

Can someone look you up if you give them your first name?

And hometown?  Let's say you don't have a common first name.

I'm doing this online dating thing and women will sometimes ask for my name right away.  I don't like to give them much info until they pass the non-crazy test.
Permalink Chad 
October 9th, 2017 11:26am
Why not? The fact that you come here with a fake name already making me suspicious of you. For all I know, you could be Ted Bundy or Steve Paddock.
Permalink Done That 
October 9th, 2017 11:30am
For safety precaution, you should not date but talk to these women for 6 months. By then, you should figure out which one is crazy.
Permalink Done That 
October 9th, 2017 11:31am
If you really want a reasonable answer, post your actual name and town and we'll see if we can guess.
Permalink Reality Check 
October 9th, 2017 11:33am
Using online phone book, I can figure out who you are by using your first name, age, and hometown
Permalink Done That 
October 9th, 2017 11:33am
By the way, Chad. I'm WildRiver. I'm NRA member and armed to the teeth. So don't try something funny.
Permalink Done That 
October 9th, 2017 11:34am
Let's say I tell you my name is Sharmila and I live in Boston.

LOL - there's like 40 Sharmilas in Boston.
Permalink Reality Check 
October 9th, 2017 11:35am
I thought those guys were dead!  How do you know I'm not Al Bundy?
Permalink Chad 
October 9th, 2017 11:35am
Over 100 Chads in Boston.
Permalink Reality Check 
October 9th, 2017 11:36am
Yes, you can narrow down by age and then using linkedin, facebook, google+ and so on to search. If you want to spend some money, hire a private detective. Then you will get the whole dossier on this person.
Permalink Done That 
October 9th, 2017 11:36am
Which online phone book are you referring to?  The ones I saw require a last name
Permalink Chad 
October 9th, 2017 11:36am
I am not on any of those sites.
Permalink Chad 
October 9th, 2017 11:38am
Only RC and I know how to access this online phone book. Why should we tell you? We don't know you.
Permalink Done That 
October 9th, 2017 11:38am
Well, tell us your first name and the town. We'll give you the answer.
Permalink Done That 
October 9th, 2017 11:39am
Chad, we can teach you how to look yourself up on the internet for a reasonable fee, pm for details.
Permalink Reality Check 
October 9th, 2017 11:39am
CES - the CoT enhancement suite already identifies the OP for those of us using that. So it's clearly possible. That being said I doubt your average gal on the dating sites has access to that kind of advanced technology.
Permalink X 
October 9th, 2017 11:41am
Joel (not Chad, that is my alias)
New York City
Permalink Chad 
October 9th, 2017 11:41am
Use a false name on the dating site and with the women you meet.
Permalink Qaz 
October 9th, 2017 11:41am
Qaz, what if it turns into a relationship?  Then you told a lie.
Permalink Chad 
October 9th, 2017 11:43am
You could also Google your name and town, you might be surprised what it turns up.
Permalink Qaz 
October 9th, 2017 11:44am
FWIW, I often look up people with a similar level of non-information.

Useful to have things like their interests, a photo, etc.

If they are very boring and have no online professional presence, which is the case for nearly all women, it can be impossible.

But some guy posts on a forum, mentions he's in a certain subfield that has to be one of 5 employers, and you can figure out his region because he mentions a recent day trip to Sonoma or such, it's usually just a matter of some googling, some flipping through LinkedIn. Sometimes you find it right away, other times up to 30 minutes.

Myself I don't have LinkedIn, I don't have property records in my name but rather in a trust, I don't have a phone listing, and my web sites have proxy ownership. I've called some old friends I saw in the news to congratulate them on accomplishments and they sometimes say they tried to find me over the years but made no progress.

I did once have an obsessive old girlfriend not only track me down but move to my town from across the country. She stalked me a couple years, which I observed through reports from a concerned mutual friend, then she met some new guy and moved away.
Permalink Reality Check 
October 9th, 2017 11:47am
"Use a false name on the dating site and with the women you meet."

This is the correct answer. Most people on these sites use fake names either for privacy reasons, or for scamming and playing. Everyone knows the name they are given is probably fake. Why would you use your real name there? That is crazy!
Permalink Reality Check 
October 9th, 2017 11:49am
"What if it turns into a relationship?  Then you told a lie."

WTF dude, are you fresh off the boat? Do you think all the women you went out with are really 29?
Permalink Reality Check 
October 9th, 2017 11:49am
> Joel, New York City

There are 9741 Joels in NYC. Several hundred work in programming.
Permalink Reality Check 
October 9th, 2017 11:50am
That's right. Most women who don't have a professional job with college degree won't be bothered with Linkedin. You can find them via Facebook.
Permalink Done That 
October 9th, 2017 11:50am
> This is the correct answer. Most people on these sites use fake names either for privacy reasons, or for scamming and playing. Everyone knows the name they are given is probably fake.

Really?  I don't know.  Women seem to not have an issue giving out their name.  Some will even give out their last name!  Either in the tagline of their ad or in a photo (i.e. screenshot of a social networking site with their full name). 

> Why would you use your real name there? That is crazy!

Because if the rare instance it does lead to something then the other person is upset because you lied.
Permalink Chad 
October 9th, 2017 11:51am
People who give out real name tend to have a lot of friends. They are all over on social media. They don't care if you know their real name because their friends will get a hold of you if you do something wrong. They will even tell their friends about the date with you. They will leave lot of paper trails for people to follow.
Permalink Done That 
October 9th, 2017 11:53am
Unless you are dating a married woman...That's a different situation.
Permalink Done That 
October 9th, 2017 11:54am
Removed some duplicates. Best estimate is now 6693 Joels in NYC.

228 of them work in the tech field.
Permalink Reality Check 
October 9th, 2017 11:56am
"You can find them via Facebook."

Yeah Facebook is where you go if you know the FB of ANYONE they know as a friend or relative. That person will be a FB friend and you just log in, scroll down, and click. That's very easy to find rather than cold matches.
Permalink Reality Check 
October 9th, 2017 11:58am
To rephrase OP's question, "Hi, I have one of the most common names in the US and live in the largest city in United States. Can people find me with just my first name and no other information at all?" Answer to that is no.
Permalink Reality Check 
October 9th, 2017 11:59am
The answer to that is YES if you can afford a private detective.
Permalink Done That 
October 9th, 2017 11:59am
What a private detective can do?

1. Get credit report.
2. Get deed and real estate title.
3. Get job history info.
4. Get renting info.
5. Follow a person and take pictures.
Permalink Done That 
October 9th, 2017 12:01pm
I doubt some chick on a dating site would go through that trouble and expense....but who knows lol.
Permalink Chad 
October 9th, 2017 12:04pm
This particular woman wants to start texting.  I don't really want to give her my # yet but it's google voice so no issue there.
Permalink Chad 
October 9th, 2017 12:06pm
6. Get criminal records.
7. Get bankruptcy records.
8. Get phone number.
9. Interview relatives and people you know.
Permalink Done That 
October 9th, 2017 12:07pm
You may want to read this.

Seal was sentenced to work in public service at the Salvation Army facility on Airline Highway (U.S. 61) in Baton Rouge, as a modification by the judge to Seal's original plea bargain.[citation needed] On February 19, 1986, Seal was shot to death in front of the site. Seal's shooting abruptly brought the DEA's investigation to an end.[citation needed]

Colombian assassins sent by the Medellín Cartel were apprehended while trying to leave Louisiana soon after Seal's murder. Authorities thus concluded Seal's murderers were hired by Ochoa. The killers were indicted by a state grand jury on March 27, 1986.[19] In May 1987, Luis Carlos Quintero-Cruz, Miguel Velez (died in custody 2015),[20] and Bernardo Antonio Vasquez were convicted of first degree murder in Seal's death, and sentenced to life in prison without parole.[21]

Louisiana Attorney General William Guste wrote to United States Attorney General Edwin Meese criticizing the government's failure to protect Seal as a witness. At Guste's request, Meese launched an investigation to determine if attorneys in Louisiana, Miami, and Washington mishandled the case and to determine if Seal should have been forced into protective custody. Government attorneys stated that Seal placed himself in danger by refusing to move his family and enter a witness protection program.[22]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barry_Seal
Permalink Done That 
October 9th, 2017 12:09pm
The bottom line: if we want to know who you are, we CAN.
Permalink Done That 
October 9th, 2017 12:09pm
I'm talking online dating dude, let's not get off topic.
Permalink Chad 
October 9th, 2017 12:13pm
That's fine. Just want to make sure you are not dating a "coyote" woman who has been tasked to set up a contacting point for distribution.
Permalink Done That 
October 9th, 2017 12:14pm
Reverse image search her profile pics usually leads to Facebook or LinkedIn.
Permalink Bill 
October 9th, 2017 12:14pm

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