Give ne back my hat!

Any of you go to work expecting your emotional needs to be met?

Or is it just a job to you?
Permalink Joe 
September 13th, 2017 11:33am
Good one.
Permalink Shylock 
September 13th, 2017 11:36am
I can't even think of an example of a job that would even be capable of meeting someone's emotional needs, unless their emotional needs are for something like drama or sadism.
Permalink Reality Check 
September 13th, 2017 11:38am
I'm serious, dude, I know you mentioned this the other day.

Yesterday was one of those days that had me thinking.

- I have been pressured by one of the execs to get a project done.  I rush, jumped through the hoops, did what she asked, and finish it and haven't heard back from her. 

- At the same time, two other departments are pushing me to get their projects done.  They wanted their stuff done yesterday

- While all this is going on, I was pulled from this to do IT stuff on the floor to do a last minute job because someone in the department failed to put it on the calendar.  The people on the floor were upset and of course I get the blame.

- We have faulty hardware and management refuses to order new hardware because they want to save money.  That falls on me as well.

- People in general at work have been cranky the last week or two.  Seems to usually happen when summer turns into fall.
Permalink Joe 
September 13th, 2017 11:41am
OK then. Never ever expect your emotional needs to be met at work. Ever. It's hard enough to get them met at home from the people you love.
Permalink Shylock 
September 13th, 2017 11:52am
Is a soldier going to combat (doing his job) to satisfy his emotional need?
Permalink quaalude 
September 13th, 2017 11:52am
I feel like wasting some people.
Permalink quaalude 
September 13th, 2017 11:52am
There have been many years when going to work was a real pleasure, where I was working with friends, and had great common meals with good conversation.

Especially some years when I was working in research at a University. International colleagues, from the US, UK, Israel, Germany, and from behind the Iron Curtain: Polish, Hungarian, Russian.

Pure joy.
Permalink Lotti Fuehscheim 
September 13th, 2017 11:58am
> OK then. Never ever expect your emotional needs to be met at work. Ever. It's hard enough to get them met at home from the people you love.

Yes and this seems universal, no matter the company.  I once thought that maybe I was picking bad companies.  The trick is not letting it get to you, which I'm working on. I find myself wasting a lot of time on stupid preventable shit but management doesn't seem to care whether their employees' time is used wisely.  If they don't care then why should I?
Permalink Joe 
September 13th, 2017 11:58am
I agree with the "not ever, no way" voices.

More on this... Early in one's career you can be spoiled by working in workplaces that have a college dorm social feel, or by working at places that are highly professional and collegial and which discourage backstabbing.

So at those kinds of jobs, you even make friends on the job fairly readily. So work can feel like it meets some of your emotional needs.

Then, as you get older and expectations of your role become harsher and more rigorous, you wind up working in more socially isolated silo arrangements where you're in a specialized role with little interaction with peers. Or, you're in a cog role with other peers and expected to produce on a schedule.

In that latter stage, work becomes an emotional deficit and  can drain your goodwill, self-confidence and spirit. You then start needing a home life to build yourself back up.

I'm truly surprised more single IT people don't commit suicide or flip out...
Permalink Bored Bystander 
September 13th, 2017 12:40pm
> More on this... Early in one's career you can be spoiled by working in workplaces that have a college dorm social feel, or by working at places that are highly professional and collegial and which discourage backstabbing.

Yes I had one of those jobs out of college!  Everyone was around the same age and it had somewhat of a dorm feel.  Political correctness was out the window.  Some of the people hung out outside of work. 

Then it was downhill from there.
Permalink Joe 
September 13th, 2017 12:45pm
That kinda skewed my perception as to what to expect in the workplace.
Permalink Joe 
September 13th, 2017 12:45pm
Let me scale this problem to higher level for you. What do you expect out of your life? Have you experienced the deficit yet?
Permalink quaalude 
September 13th, 2017 12:47pm
When you were 18, did you only care about getting laid and that new car? What's about now?
Permalink quaalude 
September 13th, 2017 12:48pm
> In that latter stage, work becomes an emotional deficit and  can drain your goodwill, self-confidence and spirit. You then start needing a home life to build yourself back up.

Some people's home life is worse than their work life and they take out their frustrations on co-workers.
Permalink Tom 
September 13th, 2017 12:49pm
Yeah, there's LOTS of that. Especially with older workers who feel trapped.
Permalink Bored Bystander 
September 13th, 2017 1:00pm
If you ever do, like Lotti says he did once upon a time, treat it like found money.
Permalink Shylock 
September 13th, 2017 1:07pm
I expect not to be emotionally abused.
Permalink Yoda 
September 13th, 2017 2:28pm
Your expectation will likely go unmet.
Permalink , Cup 
September 13th, 2017 6:03pm
^ No shit. That's a huge "high maintenance, this loser serf has toxic self esteem" red no-hire flag.
Permalink Bored Bystander 
September 13th, 2017 6:12pm
I think I can find joy anywhere I am.  At least I have been able to so far.
Permalink Legion 
September 13th, 2017 6:13pm
That's my outlook. I am by nature a happy person. But some environments are easier than others in which to be happy.
Permalink , Cup 
September 13th, 2017 6:54pm
Consider yourselves blessed.
Permalink Shylock 
September 13th, 2017 10:48pm
Wonder what Somnez/Simple Programmer has to say about this? I'd be shocked he hasn't covered it.
Permalink Bored Bystander 
September 13th, 2017 11:27pm
"The trick is not letting it get to you, which I'm working on."

I sometimes wonder if the people that seem able to cope with these environments are the ones with some mental deficiency. There has to be something amiss if you tolerate it year after year.
Permalink libtard_uk 
September 14th, 2017 3:53am
"high maintenance, this loser serf has toxic self esteem"

Very funny.
Permalink libtard_uk 
September 14th, 2017 3:54am
> There has to be something amiss if you tolerate it year after year.

And what's the alternative?
Permalink Shylock 
September 15th, 2017 7:54am
Toxic self esteem, a new HR thang.
Permalink Bored Bystander 
September 15th, 2017 12:09pm

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