They don't even serve pork lunch in Porky the movie!

The k-cup style juicing machine is failing in the market

https://www.bloomberg.com/news/features/2017-04-19/silicon-valley-s-400-juicer-may-be-feeling-the-squeeze

I knew I shouldn't have given them angel seed money :(
Permalink Wabi-sabi 
April 20th, 2017 8:21pm
It's interesting that investors are angry that users were able to circumvent their elaborate DRM vegetable scheme that was going to charge rent for all vegetable usage.

Investors should sue the users under DCMA, also get the FBI involved to stop the squeeze hacks.
Permalink Pestular Croaker 
April 20th, 2017 8:46pm
Previously on CoT: http://www.crazyontap.com/topic.php?TopicId=319953&Posts=6
Permalink brone 
April 20th, 2017 8:53pm
That thing is so ridiculous I can't even
Permalink Wabi-sabi 
April 20th, 2017 9:10pm
I wonder if the packs without the machines would make a business?
Permalink Shylock 
April 20th, 2017 9:13pm
Sure, but not nearly as profitable.
Permalink SaveTheHubble 
April 20th, 2017 9:21pm
The problem no one seems to see here is the fact you can squeeze all the juice out with your hands means its not really fresh carrots in there, it's some sort of vegetable juice they extracted already and then put in some kind of sponge material to hold and appear more solid. Obviously the idea they were going to have solid vegetables in the pack and squeeze them didn't work, probably because the packs broke under the pressure, so the current machine is a total fraud and you're paying a fortune to extract juice from a sponge it was put in with a useless machine.

Slice these packs open. Let's look inside. It won't be fresh solid vegetables. I guarantee you it's some highly manufactured thing with low nutrition other than the vitamins they probably had to add back in.
Permalink Pestular Croaker 
April 20th, 2017 9:24pm
Yeah, we got that.  That part was so obvious we didn't even spend any time talking about it.
Permalink SaveTheHubble 
April 20th, 2017 9:26pm
The article didn't cover that or even hint at it. It focused on investors being concerned that you could cheat the system by buying the packs and you wouldn't need the costly machine or being tied into the web interface that monitors your juice usage and automatically reorders, and stops you from using expired packs, all of which were keys to the riches they imagined this company would make.
Permalink Pestular Croaker 
April 20th, 2017 9:55pm
There are so many wtfs with this I can't even deal.

Why is eating actual fruits and vegetables so hard?

Okay, so you want to drink them.  Buy a blender and have smoothies?

No smoothies?  They need to be juiced?  Okay, buy a juicer.

What?  Too lazy to put fruit into them yourself?  You need packets to arrive in the mail, and you need to stick them into a machine squeezes the packets for you?

This costs $700?  At $5-10 per packet?  And the company producing it gets bankrolled by major VCs?

And it's probably not even real unprocessed fruit in those packets?

Fuck this planet.
Permalink Wabi-sabi 
April 20th, 2017 10:39pm
“There are 400 custom parts in here,” Evans told Recode. “There’s a scanner; there’s a microprocessor; there’s a wireless chip, wireless antenna.”


Of course they couldn't use off-the-shelf components at 1/1000 the price. They had to get the parts special built.
Permalink Legion 
April 20th, 2017 11:05pm
> What?  Too lazy to put fruit into them yourself?  You need packets to arrive in the mail, and you need to stick them into a machine squeezes the packets for you?

> This costs $700?  At $5-10 per packet?  And the company producing it gets bankrolled by major VCs?

Tech VCs are major retards. That's been established fact since the dot com era.

The entire point of a product like this is to put expensive manufactured shit between you and the output product and to create a completely unnecessary "razor blade" recurring revenue stream.

We're in the market for a juicer. I took a look at some very nice, top rated juicers for $300 and under. They can perform multiple other tasks like pasta making, nut butters, etc.

But HORRORS, you'd have to source the produce or vegetables yourself. You'd also have to trim off stems and core the stuff if it had seeds or excessively woody parts.

I bet stuff like this sells to overly techie silicon valley trendy types who've earned so much in their short careers that they never felt the need to learn to cook or do anything for themselves.
Permalink Bored Bystander 
April 20th, 2017 11:26pm
I have my juicer that works and it is delicious! I have two wonderful machines: Naked Fruits and Bolthouse Farm! I don't have to do any work.
Permalink WildRiver 
April 21st, 2017 12:05am
"At $5-10 per packet?"

Yeah, and each packet makes EIGHT OUNCES of juice.

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL..... suckas!
Permalink Pestular Croaker 
April 21st, 2017 12:37am
The fact they compare it Keurig coffee (one of the most wasteful ways of making coffee) speaks for itself.
Permalink Yoda 
April 21st, 2017 1:58am
For $600, you can get a top of the line Vitamix and just dump whole apples and most other stuff in there.

If you don't want the pulp in your juice, you can still get a good masticating juicer for less than $600, or you can go wild and get something like a Super Angel for anywhere from $1500 to $3000.  Even the cheapest one is a really good juicer, though and will get all the juice out with none of the pulp.
Permalink Electric! 
April 21st, 2017 1:59am
Buy a juicebox, stick the straw in and squeeze.
Little kids figure that out quick.
Permalink Bill 
April 21st, 2017 11:49am
I felt a bit daft for buying a little tub of Matcha tea powder the other week: it's ~£0.25/gram, or ~£0.15 per mug. And that excludes the cost of boiling the water, and the amortized cost of mug; equivalent normal tea is more like £0.03/mug, and that's the TCO.

But I now I feel comparatively prudent.

> That part was so obvious we didn't even spend any time talking about it

Maybe if you're a regular juicer, but for people like me, who don't have one, and don't know anybody that has one, and hadn't really paid much attention to the initial claims, I think it adds a certain something. I definitely feel like the experience of mocking this product is now that little bit richer.
Permalink brone 
April 21st, 2017 4:19pm
Amortizing the cost of a mug is some serious budgeting.
I salute you.
Permalink Bill 
April 21st, 2017 4:28pm
Hmm, Matcha tea. A local tea shop here sells it in 2 qualities, 'Matcha Garucha Cooking Grade' € 0.43 / g, and 'Matcha Akashi' € 1.16 / g

But I am going to buy the Royal First Flush 2017 from the gardens of Ambootia in Darjeeling there tomorrow for a mere € 0.16 / g

https://www.simonleveltgroningen.nl/simon-levelt-royal-first-flush-2017ambootia/ws-pr/pr621
Permalink Lotti Fuehrscheim 
April 21st, 2017 5:02pm
I bought this one, currently on a £10-for-50g sale: time: https://purechimp.com/products/pure-chimp-super-tea-a-k-a-matcha-green-tea?variant=888886417#

Amazon said it was "ceremonial grade", so I assumed it was the good shit. The price seemed OK, but not suspiciously so; the colour is a good bright saturated green.

But maybe it's food colouring, and they meant ceremonial cooking?
Permalink brone 
April 21st, 2017 7:04pm
Now on HN: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=14188721
Permalink brone 
April 24th, 2017 6:20pm